Final Decision
by KarianneTheTwilightFan
Summary: Oneshot - Edward decides to go to the Volturi after he finds out Bella is 'dead'. New Moon


**Summary: **Edward decides to go to the Volturi after he finds out Bella is dead.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters, Stephenie Meyer does!

**Final Decision**

I felt the pain sting in my chest. The total black hole that was inside of me, burning on the edge… How long would this go on? I knew the answer before I even thought about it… She had brightened my life, like a meteor over my dark sky...

Before she came into my life, some stars lit up the sky, enough for me to stay alive... But when she came into my life, it was like a meteor that flew over my dark sky, and lit it up, and everything was bright, and I felt something I never had felt for someone in my long life…

I could see her face in my head, totally clear... Her brown, long hair blowing in the wind. How she lit up every time she saw me… And her blushing... It was so beautiful to see the blood streaming into her cheeks...

I laughed without any sign of humor, and the black hole burned more than ever… I could even remember her smell, one of the most delightful smells in the world... In both ways… Her heart going wild every time I touched her… I felt totally empty… I was just a shell, without her, I was nothing...

Drowning in the darkness…

If I could have cried I would have gotten totally dried out… The thought of her, and her warm skin, blood flushing through her veins… Touching me. . . Whenever I was near her, I felt... Human… Bella and Edward, we were meant to be together, and now... She was dead, and it was nothing I could do anything with . . . Dead, lifeless . . . Cold . . . Pale . . . My hole burned constantly, and I felt . . . Dead . . . "Why... Why on earth did I leave her there . .?! Alone, and if she had felt like this, if she lived with all this… Pain, pain that I caused her! I can't bear to live through this, without knowing that she is out there, somewhere . . . " I muttered to myself . . .

I felt the cold breeze blow against my face. . . I hadn't fed for two weeks, and I felt the blood thirst burn in my throat . . .

But it wasn't even half of the pain that the hole in my chest caused me . . . Not even close! The little shelter out in the middle of nowhere, the trees blowing in the wind, hitting the walls of the shelter . . .

I heard a happy bird twitter on its way to his love . . . I missed her; I loved her more than anything . . . And now she was gone. . . For all eternity. . . I would never again be able to see her for real, smiling, and. . . Alive . . .

Hear her heartbeat, see the blood flush in her cheeks, and make them red like a wild rose . . . The hole in my heart would never recover . . . She was gone . . . My life was over, that far I knew. I couldn't bear living without her in this world; it would be too hard...

And at that point, I knew exactly where, and what I would do there.

Italy, Volterra . . . I would beg the Volturi to kill me, and if they didn't kill me at the spot, I could always do something to provoke The Volturi, something they couldn't let slip through their fingers… My life was over after that I heard that Bella - my hole burned at the thought of her name - was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it . . .

And of all things, it was Rosalie that called me with the bad news, Rosalie of all!

But she was probably the most selfish creatures on this planet!

The others probably didn't want to tell me, to keep me alive . . .

But Rosalie wanted everything to go back to normal, but it wouldn't . . .

It started to rain, and the raindrops drummed against the metal plates that worked - hardly - as a roof. I couldn't just sit here, it would make it even worse to get on my feet and run, run as far as I could...

I jumped up from the floor, and ran into the rotten wood walls, which cracked easily... They were totally rotten after all those years out here, in the middle of nowhere...

In this cold, raining climate... I guessed it wasn't sun here at all. It hadn't been since I came here, two weeks ago. I'd ran almost across the country in my haste to get away from her, Forks, everything... If I stayed in the nearest area to her, I would just run back to her, it would be the best for me, at least... But it wouldn't be the right thing to do against Bella...

She deserved so much better than me... Live a normal life... Get married, have kids, all the human things that she deserved... Everything I couldn't give her... But the thought of her with someone else, made my chest ache even more...

I ran through the brown forest. Unlike to Forks where everything was green, green and foggy...

Here, everything was brown... The grass, the trees, everything! I hated it...

It just made me feel even worse than I already felt, and that was bad...I tried to get my head on to other thoughts, but I couldn't get up anything to think about that didn't risk me even more pain... Her, I couldn't think of her, it would just make it harder to run, and that would just slow me down... And I didn't want to use more time than I needed to live here, on this planet... I just wanted to die, or whatever we did... Carlisle believed that it was a life for us after death to, but I thought - and still think - that we'd lost our souls...

I just wanted to get away from this pain... I couldn't bear it anymore... My family couldn't replace her... Never... Whatever they did, they where couples, and I would live on like before, alone... No, I couldn't bear to see them together, kissing, and all that kind of 'stuff'... Just knowing that I was the only one alone in our family would be too much to bear... It would only make me more miserable, and they would just go there and be miserable because of me, and my pain... No, this wasn't even an option... The rain drizzled down to the earth as I ran at top speed.

I knew exactly what and where I would go... Volterra, The Volturi; Aro, Caius and Marcus, and their.... Wives... The hole burned around the edges....

I remembered last spring, the Nomads; Victoria, James and Laurent...

I remembered Bella in the hospital, unconscious after the fight in the Ballet studio..

Bella, lying on the hospital bed, with a syringe in her arm, and a heart monitor going wild every time I touched her when she was awake...

The memories would never fade, I knew that... But they were hard to think about... I could hear a voice in my head, and automatically slowed down the pace...

I ran in normal human speed, through the woods.

I tried to block the human's thoughts out, but I didn't succeed.

It was full enough in my head already, I didn't need someone else's problems on my shoulders too ...

I had bought new clothes yesterday, and I didn't care to stop by the mall to buy some new clothes when I raced away from this place at top speed in the woods, a long way from the human beings, and almost every creature... I hadn't hunted for two weeks, and my throat was sore of the blood thirst... I

f I ran into some deer's on my way to Italy, I would stop for a meal... I couldn't go thirsty in this mental condition...

Maybe I couldn't control myself . . . I didn't know, and I didn't want to figure it out either . . . The rain drizzled, and I ran across the wet ground... I cleared my head, and focused on how I would provoke The Volturi when I finally was there... I think I went through 110 different alternatives before I decided what I should do, and what I felt was the easiest thing to do... But I would need the sun, but I don't think that would be a problem... It would happen twelve o'clock, - St. Marcus day - and the city would be filled thousands of people... They couldn't see away from that... My plan was clear... I knew exactly what to do when I came to Volterra...

But now I had to focus on finding an airport anywhere near...

I knew about a airport who flew to Italy somewhere in the area, but the plane always landed in Rio De Janeiro first... I didn't care... I would get a ticket to that plane... I didn't bother to wait for some other plane...

And I had to throw my cell away, a place where my family couldn't trace it back to me, and track me down. . . Rio seemed like a decent place to do that... * * * It was really warm... The night had laid over Rio, it was probably a beautiful place, but I didn't care to look... It didn't matter... I threw my cell into a garbage can, and jumped up the fire escapes, and up onto the roof's... I had to catch my plane... I couldn't stay here, on this warm, and sunny place, to risky for a... Vampire... "We'll meet soon - I hope - my love..." I whispered to myself, and jumped down from the last roof, and ran into the parking lot of the airport... I had a plane to catch...

**A/N** Okay, I hope you like it! :-D

This is a story I wrote a while ago, and as I said, I hope you will like it, and please, review!


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